Parenting can be one of the most meaningful relationships we ever experience- and also one of the most emotionally charged.

Whether you are struggling with sleep issues with your infant, tantrums with your toddler, emotional outbursts and dysregulation with your child, or withdrawal, resistance or emotional/behavioral difficulties from your teen, it can feel deeply personal and painful. You may find yourself asking: Why is this happening? Why can’t I fix it? What does this mean about me- or about them and their future?

When our children struggle, it often stirs something inside us- feelings of helplessness, anger, confusion, ashamed- or terrified something is painfully or permanently wrong. And while much of parenting today focuses on behavior management or quick fixes, these moments often signal something deeper: a child’s effort to communicate feelings that don’t yet have words, and a parent’s encounter with the echoes of their own history.

In therapy, I work with families to go beneath the surface. Psychodynamic and analytic thinking invites us to consider the inner world of your child- not just what they are doing, but why. Together, we can make sense of what might be hiding beneath the behavior: whether it is a need for connection, a fear of separation, the impact of a transition or trauma, or simply the developmental push towards independence that feels threatening to both parent and child and the relationship you have known.

This work is not about blaming parents or pathologizing children. It is about slowing down and listening- really listening - to the emotional communication embedded in everyday struggles. When parents can become curious instead of pulled into reactive responses, and when children feel seen, contained with boundaries, understood rather than criticized or punished, something begins to shift.

With dedicated effort, new patterns can emerge. Safety can be restored and your relationship- the real healing agent- can grow.

Whether your child is acting out, shutting down, engaging in self-destructive behaviors or expressing complex feeling states, or perhaps all of the above, you’re not alone. There is meaning in the messiness of raising children, even in the storm. And with the right support, both you are your child can feel more understood, more connected, and more hopeful.

Dr. Ali Anderson is one of the only private psychotherapists in Orange County, California that treats infant/child-mother/parent bonding and attachment, helping to facilitate secure attachments and attuned parenting that protects your child across the lifespan from problematic behaviors, troubling choices and maladaptive behavior.

She has been working with infants, children, mothers/fathers and adolescents since 2006. Dr. Anderson’s passionate and youthful spirit allows her to develop exceptional connections with her young patients, even those that are highly resistant to therapy.